Tavington's Christmas Revels
by Sgt. Hakeswill
Summary: Several Tavington themed filks based on Christmas songs. UPDATED for 2010, with more on the way!
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I had a lot of fun writing these. I hope readers will get a good chuckle reading them. Thanks to Arsinoe3 for suggesting the title of this song collection.  
  
Tavington Is Coming to Town  
(sung to the tune of "Santa Claus is Coming to Town")  
  
You'd better watch out  
You'd better run hide  
You'd better not join the rebel side  
Tavington is coming to town!  
  
He's making a list  
And writing it down  
If you do wrong  
He'll burn your house down  
Tavington is coming to town!  
  
He'll know if you talk treason  
He'll know if you sell guns  
And then he'll have a reason  
To put you on the run!  
  
O! You'd better watch out  
You'd better run hide  
You'd better not join the rebel side  
Tavington is coming to town!  
  
  
Here Comes Tavington  
(sung to "Here Comes Santa Claus")  
  
Here comes Tavington  
Here comes Tavington  
Chasing Martin's men  
Bordon and Wilkins and all the dragoons  
Will hunt them down again!  
  
Hooves are pounding, sabers flying  
It's a jolly good fight!  
Run, Ben Martin and say your prayers  
Cause Tavington comes tonight!  
  
Up on the Housetop  
(sung to the song of the same name)  
  
Up on the housetop, the torch does hit  
Tavington has ordered it!  
Down through the chimney with lots of flames  
All for the dragoons'  
Wartime games  
  
Chorus  
  
Burn, burn, burn  
Then they'll learn  
Burn, burn burn  
Then they'll learn  
  
On to the next farm  
Burn them down  
Run all the rebels  
Out of town  
  
Gabriel Got Run Through With a Saber  
(sung to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer")  
  
Gabriel got run through with a saber  
After he thought Tavington was dead  
He'd thought he'd shot Tavy in the head  
But that was wrong he knew there as he bled.  
  
He'd found his sweet new bride Anne dead  
And we'd begged him not to go  
But he'd vowed to avenge her killing  
So he left town before Ben could tell him no  
  
When Ben found him a little later  
At the scene of the attack  
Just in time to say, "Goodbye, son"  
And see Tavington escaping out the back  
  
Gabriel got run through with a saber  
After he thought Tavington was dead  
He'd thought he'd shot Tavy in the head  
But that was wrong he knew there as he bled.  
  
Now, we're all so proud of Martin  
He's been taking this so well  
See him there courting Charlotte  
When what he wants to do is give Tavy hell  
  
It's no good war without Gabriel  
All the family`s dressed in black  
And we can't just help but wonder  
Should we chase Tavington or go riding back  
  
Gabriel got run through with a saber  
After he thought Tavington was dead  
He'd thought he'd shot Tavy in the head  
But that was wrong he knew there as he bled.  
  
Now the troops are on the field  
And the soldiers are in place  
Tavington's dragoons are waiting  
Will Ben stay and fight and maybe save some face  
  
I've warned all my friends and neighbors  
Batter not fight for Martin  
They should rather fight the rebels  
Join the Green Dragoons under Will Tavington  
  
Gabriel got run through with a saber  
After he thought Tavington was dead  
He'd thought he'd shot Tavy in the head  
But that was wrong he knew there as he bled. 


	2. Chapter 2

Riding Around the Countryside  
(sung to the tune of  
"Rocking Around the Christmas Tree")  
  
Riding around the countryside  
On the hunt for Martin's men  
Militiamen hung from every tree  
Tavington will win again!  
  
Riding around the countryside  
See the horses galloping  
Later we'll make some rebels hide  
As we do some plundering  
  
Martin gets those sick and frightened  
Feelings when he sees  
Sabers swinging, men are falling  
Death! The losses are appalling!  
  
Riding around the countryside  
Win the battle fought today  
The dragoons charging speedily  
As Tavington leads the way! 


	3. Chapter 3

Horses' Hooves  
(sung to the tune of Jingle Bell Rock)

Horses' hooves  
Horses' hooves  
Horses' hooves pound  
Rebels do cringe and run from the sound.  
Bordon and Wilkins and Will Tavington  
Now the plundering has begun

Horses' hooves  
Horses' hooves  
Horses' hooves pound  
Horses' hooves pound when dragoons appear  
Terror and running from rebel town squares  
When dragoons are near!

It's at night time  
It's the right time  
To raid the countryside  
Rebel bases are the places  
To go hunting for Ben Martin's men

Hurry up Green Dragoons  
Raise your sabres  
Riding around the camp  
Slashing 'til rebels fall at your feet  
That's why Tavington wins!


	4. Chapter 4

**Whose Child is This?**  
(sung to the tune of "What Child is This?")

Whose child is this, who, laid to rest  
On Charlotte's lap, is sleeping?  
With hair so dark and eyes of blue  
With whom had she been sleeping?

This child is Tavington's  
The boy is not their only one  
She wants to have ten more  
Children sired by Tavy!

**O Tavington**

(Sung to the tune of O Holy Night)

O Tavington  
Your men are quickly charging  
It is the time you will kill Martin's men

Long they did hide from King and country's rule  
'Til you appeared and the Rebs felt your wrath

In fear of you, the Rebel forces tremble  
For yonder comes your mighty Green Dragoons

Fell on their knees  
And felt the sabre's piercing

From Rebs come pleas  
For mercy from your men

The fight is won  
By Tavington!

**Martin the Redneck Farmer  
**(sung to Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer)

Martin the redneck farmer  
Had a very stupid son  
And when he saw Tavington  
He met the dragoon's gun

All of the other children  
Ran and hid behind their Dad  
They didn't help poor Thomas  
After he got shot down dead

Then when Tavy left the place  
Martin got so mad  
Dragoons burned his house all down  
Now they'll have to live in town!

Then all the dragoons left him  
As they shouted out with glee  
Martin the redneck farmer  
Your end will be quite gory!


	5. Chapter 5

**Green Dragoons Serve the British King  
**(We Three Kings of Orient Are)

Green Dragoons serve the British king  
Rebels' pleas they care not a thing  
Fields and hillsides, Daily they'll ride  
Following Tavington

_Chorus:_

Oh, Ben Martin tries to fight them  
Dragoons win, it's no problem  
Sabres flashing, men are clashing  
Rebels run into the night

**  
I Saw Dragoons  
**(I Saw Three Ships)

I saw dragoons come riding in  
To Martin's house, to Martin's farm  
I saw dragoons come riding in  
With Tavington in the morning

And what did all these dragoons do  
At Martin's house, at Martin's farm  
They burned his house, they burned it down  
As Tavington had commanded

**  
Clear the Stalls  
**(sung to Deck the Halls)

Clear the stalls of dragoon's horses  
Fa la la la la la la la la

Tis the time to go fight rebels  
Fa la la la la la la la la

Don we now our bearkin helmets  
Fa la la la la la la la la

Go with Colonel Tavington now  
Fa la la la la la la la la.

**Ben Martin in Trouble  
**(Away in a Manger)

Ben Martin in trouble, no home for his kids  
From Colonel Tavington's dragoons he has hid  
Dragoons in the country cut down all his men  
Ben Martin has lost but he'll fight them again.

**  
Over The River and Through the Woods**

Over the river and through the woods  
As Tavington leads the way  
His horse knows the way to hunt for the prey  
Though Rebs do run away


	6. Chapter 6

**The Rebels Hide from Green Dragoons  
**(God Rest You Merry Gentlemen)

The rebels hide from Green Dragoons  
Ben Martin runs away  
His sons Thomas and Gabriel  
Tavington both did slay

Ben vowed to avenge both their deaths  
And kill dragoons each day  
It's much easier said than done  
Said than done  
It's much easier said than done.

**  
We Chase Rebs on the Mountain  
**(Go Tell It on the Mountain)

We chase Rebs on the mountain  
Over the hills and everywhere  
Ben Martin is defeated  
By Tavington's dragoons!

**  
Horse Ride  
**(Sleigh Ride)

Just hear those horse hooves rumbling  
Rum rum rumbling too  
Come on, It's lovely weather  
To go slaughtering rebels with you!

Outside the men are waiting  
The horses wanting to go  
Come on, it's lovely weather  
To go slaughtering rebels with you

Chase them down, cut them down, let's go  
Let's kill rebels now  
We're beating them as Tavington demands!

Chase them down, cut them down, slash them down, it's grand  
Just killing rebels  
We're winning battles all day long  
In this southern rebel land

Our sabres nice and shiny  
And riding swiftly are we  
We're slaughtering militia men as  
Those against England should be

Let's take the road before us  
And burn a homestead or two  
Come on, it's lovely weather  
To go slaughtering rebels with you

There's a grand ball party at the home of Middleton  
After killing rebels all day that will be much fun  
We'll be drinking the booze the general gives without a single stop  
On the back lawn while we watch the ship explode  
Boom! Boom! Boom!

A triumphant feeling nothing in the world can buy  
When we ride around, swing sabres and the rebels die  
It'll always be a victory ride with Colonel Tavington  
These glorious things are the things  
We remember all battles won


	7. Chapter 7

**Tavy Baby  
**(Santa Baby"

Tavy baby, slip a sabre under the tree, for me  
I've been an awful good girl  
Tavy baby, and hurry down the back roads tonight

Tavy baby, an up to date phaeton too, light blue  
I'll wait up for you dear  
Tavy baby, and hurry down the back roads tonight

Think of all the fun I've missed  
Think of all the rebels that I haven't kissed  
Next year I could help win the war  
If you'd come and love me once more!  
Boo doo bee doo

Tavy honey, I want you all to myself now  
Not later  
I've been an angel all year  
Tavy baby, and hurry down the back roads tonight

Tavy cutie, there's one thing I really do need, the deed  
To a rebel's big house  
Tavy cutie, and hurry down the back roads tonight

Tavy baby, I'm filling your goblet with some good wine, that's fine  
Put your horse in the barn  
Tavy baby, and hurry down the back roads tonight

Come and make sweet love to me  
Make me moan and writhe until I can't see  
I really do believe in you  
Let's see if you believe in me  
Boo doo bee doo

Tavy baby, forgot to mention one little thing, a ring  
Take me back home with you  
Tavy baby, and hurry down the back roads tonight  
Hurry down the back roads tonight  
Hurry down the back roads tonight


	8. Chapter 8

**William Tavington**  
(Happy Holiday)

William Tavington  
William Tavington  
He's the colonel of cavalry  
That the colonists all fear

William Tavington  
William Tavington  
May the Green Dragoons keep winning  
Until Ben Martin gives up!

It's the colonists' wartime  
And Tavington is coming around  
The rebel's blood is spilled on the ground  
When the British get into town  
They'll be burning all the houses down  
Burning all the houses down!

It's the war for rebs' freedom  
And Tavington has got a gun  
To kill all the patriots now on the run  
He's not a big bundle of fun  
He'll be burning all their houses down  
Burning all their houses down

He'll have a long sharp sabre on his hip  
And give lots of trouble for Martin's men  
So all the colonist women then should strip  
Screwing all the dragoon men!

It's the wartime season  
With the killing of the men all around  
And don't forget to swing your sabre  
'Cause just as Green Dragoons all do arrive  
They'l be burning all the houses  
Burning all the houses  
Burning all the houses down!

William Tavington  
William Tavington  
He's the colonel of cavalry  
That the colonists all fear

William Tavington  
William Tavington  
May the green dragoons keep bringing  
The Revolution to you!  
To you  
William Tavington!

More to come in the next few weeks...


	9. Chapter 9

Southern Hinterland  
(Winter Wonderland)

Horse hooves pound  
Can you hear them?  
Rebels cringe  
They do fear them  
A frightening sight  
We're running tonight  
Fighting in a southern hinterland

Gone away is our freedom  
Dragoons come, let's do meet them  
They act for the King  
We can't do a thing  
Fighting in a southern hinterland

From the meadow up rides the Green Dragoons  
Led by Colonel William Tavington  
He'll say all enemies  
of the King will  
be shot on sight tonight  
He knows that he's right

Later on  
We'll perspire  
As we watch Ben's house burn down  
We are quite afraid  
Of the mess they've made  
Fighting in a southern hinterland

In th meadow dragoons slaughter rebels  
The British are winning all around  
They'll have lots of fun with fighting Martin  
Until the dragoons finally hunt him down

Swinging swords  
Ain't it thrilling  
As we do lots of killing  
We'll gallop and ride  
Our horses tonight  
Fighting in a southern hinterland

Fighting in a southern hinterland  
Fighting in a southern hinterland


	10. Chapter 10

**You're the Butcher,Tavington**  
(_You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch_).

You're the Butcher, Tavington  
You're the worst Green Dragoon  
You're as friendly as a sabre  
You'll send us to our doom  
Tavington

You're not a gentleman  
You really are a heel

You're the Butcher, Tavington  
Your sneer is so well known  
Your conscience nonexistent  
You will make the women moan  
Tavington

I wouldn't fight you, with a  
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

You're the Butcher, Tavington  
You're so hateful and so mean  
You have all the moral fiber  
Of a debauched libertine  
Tavington.

Given the choice between the two of you  
I'd take the debauched libertine

You're the Butcher, Tavington  
You're a first class martinet  
Ben Martin hates your filthy guts  
Of that you sure can bet  
Tavington

The best way I can describe you  
is, quite simply, crude, rude,lewd!


	11. Chapter 11

**We're Will Tavington's Dragoons Rebs All Fear**  
(_It's the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year_)

We're Will Tavington's Dragoons rebs all fear  
With our sabres all swinging  
And every horse gaining as rebs run like deer  
We're Will Tavington's dragoons rebs all fear

It's now the time the rebels lose it all  
With houses burned down and possessions all scattered  
When we come to call  
It's now the time the rebels lose it all

There'll be houses for sacking  
And rebels for hacking  
Leave them all dead out in the snow  
There'll be scary fierce battles  
And plundering cattle  
On all the farms as we go!

We're Will Tavington's Dragoons rebs all fear  
There'll be much men a-dying  
And wives will be sighing  
We're Will Tavington's Dragoons rebs all fear

There'll be houses for sacking  
And rebels for hacking  
Leave them all dead out in the snow  
There'll be scary fierce battles  
And plundering cattle  
On all the farms as we go!

We're Will Tavington's Dragoons rebs all fear  
There'll be much men a-dying  
And wives will be sighing  
When dragoons come near  
We're Will Tavington's Dragoons  
We're Will Tavington's Dragoons  
We're Will Tavington's Dragoons rebs all fear!


	12. Chapter 12

**Home For the Holidays**  
(**Run From Will Tavington**)

Oh, there's no place to hide from Will Tavington  
Cause no matter how far away you go  
When you pine for the shelter of a friendly place  
From Will Tavington there's no where you can go.

I met a man who ran from Tavington  
And he was headin' for  
Colonel Martin and his black swamp hiding place  
To Colonel Martin men are gath'rin 'round  
To hide from Tavington  
From the Santee to Atlantic, gee  
The killing is horrific

Oh, there's no place to hide from Will Tavington  
Cause no matter how far away you go  
If you want to escape, there's no point to run  
From Will Tavington there's no where you can go.


	13. Chapter 13

**Tavington Ruined Christmas**  
(Holly Jolly Christmas)

Oh, Tavington ruined Christmas  
It's the worst thing we do fear  
I don't know, but do let's go  
Before he gets too near

Oh, Tavington ruined Christmas  
And when his horse ran down the street  
Slayed rebels as he would go  
As they fell at his feet.

Oh, no  
the Green Dragoons  
Hung Ben, look and see  
Gabriel runs away  
Kill him once for me

Oh, the dragoons ruined Christmas  
And Tavington inspired fear  
Oh I'm sorry  
That the dragoons  
Ruined Christmas this year!


	14. Chapter 14

**We Need a Little Mayhem**  
(We Need A Little Christmas)

Haul out Ben Martin  
Hang up the man before the rebel runs again  
Shine up your sabre  
I may be rushing things, but flay the bastard Ben now

For we need a little mayhem  
Right this very minute  
Rocks thrown at his window  
Tavy kills Gabriel

Yes, we need a little mayhem  
Right this very minute  
I haven't killed a single rebel  
But Cornwallis, we're in a hurry

So knock down the chimney  
Throw on the brightest wood torches I've ever seen  
Slice up Ben Martin  
It's time we hung that rebel from an evergreen tree

For I've grown rather impatient  
Sick of all the nonsense  
Sick of the rebellion  
I'm a little callous

And I have a little devil  
Sitting on my shoulder  
Need a little mayhem now!


	15. Chapter 15

**I Saw Charlotte Kissing Tavington**  
(I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus)

I saw Charlotte kissing Tavington  
Right beside her bedroom door last night  
She didn't see me there  
'Cause she did not have a care  
She could only see the  
Dragoon who held her in his arms

Then  
I saw Charlotte taking Tavy's hand  
Before they went into her bedroom

Oh  
What a mess it would have been  
If Martin had only seen  
Charlotte kissing Tavington last night!


	16. Chapter 16

****

Killing Rebs  
(Jingle Bells)

Riding down the road  
With the Green Dragoons tonight  
Through the fields we go  
We can't wait to fight!  
Then our sabres flash  
Making rebels die  
Oh, what fun it is to ride and sing  
This slaying song tonight!

Chorus:

Killing rebs, killing rebs  
Killing rebs all night!  
Oh what fun it is to see  
Ben's rebels run from fright!  
Killing rebs, killing rebs  
Killing rebs all night!  
Oh what fun it is to ride  
And kill Ben's men tonight!


	17. Chapter 17

**Dragoons We Have Heard All Night**  
**_(Angels We Have Heard on High_)**

Dragoons we have heard all night  
Swifty riding o'er the plains  
Sabres swinging as they ride  
As the rebels die in pain.

Tavington  
In exultant victory

Martin, why this agony  
While your despair pains prolong  
What the mournful tidings be  
Which inspire your lonely song?

Tavington  
In exultant victory

Tavington  
In exultant victory


End file.
